Do you know what things to ask your child instead of how was your day?
We used to fall into this age-old parenting trap every evening at the dinner table.
How did your day go?”
Tell me what you learned today.”
Who played with you at recess?”
We can’t connect with our children after a long day apart with one-word answers. As a result, you complain “Why won’t my 5 year old tell me about their day? “
Even so, we need to reconnect.
Whenever we’re feeling connected, the children pitch in to help clean up after dinner. The first time we ask them to get dressed and brush their teeth, they pay attention. Whenever we tuck them into bed, they’re all giggling and smiling.
But what about when we’re all feeling disconnected? Or How do I get my child to talk about their day?
It’s more power struggles, grumbling, and grimaces at bedtime instead of cooperation.
Don’t miss this article: Why bed stories are important as the child grows?
Could We Ask Better Questions to Our Children?
We needed to solve the problem of one-word responses so we could have a family conversation that left everyone connected.
However, busy parents find it hard to come up with meaningful, creative questions to ask their children. The first thing I did was find the best questions for children that actually get them talking.
Plenty of children questions can be found online;
- Is there a number you love?” or
- Do you like the story this week? or
- “Do you like Finding Nemo or The Incredibles?”
Another one-word answer that doesn’t continue a conversation.
How do you get children to tell you about their day? This is How These 50 Questions for children Are Different
You should consider at these things:
- For children, open-ended questions like “How” and “Why” work best. They get children talking because they open up the conversation to more than one-word answers.
- Asking your children questions should be something adults can answer, too. The majority of children don’t like feeling like they have to perform for the adults around them. Plus, it’s more fun to have a conversation with everyone.
- Don’t ask boring questions. People love talking about themselves – but not if you ask boring questions.
- Lastly, don’t make your children feel like they’re being tested or lectured. A question like “Why don’t some children listen?” You might get some interesting answers, but your child might feel like you’re playing a game.
How do you ask your toddler about their day?
Here are 50 questions children will actually answer
Using these questions for children, you’ll not only teach your child how to converse, but you’ll also get a peek into their heart, what’s important to them, what worries them, and what excites them.
The best part? You’ll close any distance between you and your child, so you both feel loved, connected, and happy at the end of the day.
Here’s a printable version of my 50 family conversation starters. Here are 50 of the best questions for children from those conversation starters.
Here are some things to ask your child instead of how was your day and are about themselves
- What’s on your mind right now?
- When you woke up today, what was your first thought?
- By your next birthday, what do you want to accomplish?
- What would you want to be famous for?
- What’s your favourite thing about life?
- What makes you happy?
- What’s something you want to do, but can’t?
- Is there anything that makes you feel loved?
- 10 years from now, what will you be doing?
- What would you eat if you couldn’t eat anything else for a year?
- What would you do if you had one superpower?
- What’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you?
- What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you?
- What’s your proudest accomplishment?
- Which rule do you have to follow that doesn’t make sense?
- If you could pack anything into your lunch tomorrow, what would it be?
- Is there anything that makes you feel special?
- If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be?
- What would you do if you were invisible?
- What’s the biggest worry you have?
- Is there anything you’re looking forward to?
- When are you happiest?
- Is there anything you’ve learned so far that you’d like to share?
- Is there a joke you love?
- If you could learn one thing, what would it be?
- What would you do if you could stay up all night?
Family and friends things to ask your child instead of how was your day
- What’s your favourite family activity?
- Have you heard anything nice lately?
- Who’s the best person to understand you?
- What would you change if you could change one family rule?
- If you could do anything with your friends, what would it be?
- Who would you switch places with if you could?
- How did you help someone today?
- How do you wish you could do something at our house that you get to do at someone else’s?
- If you had a younger sister or brother, what advice would you give them?
- Is there anything you have heard today that is smarter than what you have heard before?
- Did someone make you smile today?
- Which family tradition is your favourite? Why?
- What’s the funniest thing someone said or did today?
- When was the last time you got mad at someone?
- What would you do all day if you didn’t have to go to school or work on Monday?
- Do you ever have to do something you don’t want to?
- What’s the most important thing a parent should do?
Other things to ask your child instead of how was your day
- How do you envision your life twenty years from now?
- Is there a big problem in the world?
- What advice would you give to everyone in the world?
- Which law would you make everyone on Earth follow if you could?
- What language would you learn if you could?
- How will the world look in 10 years? What’s going to stay the same? How will it be different?
- What would you do if you could live in another country for a year?
4 Quick Tips for Great Conversations
These family conversation starters have worked well for us when it comes to keeping the conversation going:
- Just listen. You might be tempted to give the “right” answer to some of these questions for children. The best way to teach your child is through a healthy discussion.
- For toddlers and preschoolers, it may be best to let your youngest go first. Otherwise, they’ll repeat what the person before them said. Even though that’s cute, it’s also fun to hear what your child really thinks.
- Tell your child there’s no right or wrong answer if they say, “I don’t know.” You just want to hear their thoughts. When they don’t have an answer, say, “I’ll give you a minute and get back to you”, and then move on to the next person in the car, at dinner, etc.
- Try saying “Hmm” or “Interesting” if your child’s answer shocks you – something noncommittal that will give you time to think. It should be fun, not stressful!
Now it’s your turn
Is there a question you like to ask children every day? Please help us find another way to say “How was your day?” that gets people talking. Comment below with your favorite questions to ask children!